谁能帮我改一下我写的这篇英语六级作文？Recently,the，phenomenon，of，empty，nest，has，bec...
谁能帮我改一下我写的这篇英语六级作文？
Recently,the phenomenon of empty nest has become the focus of the sosiety.more and more olders live by themselves.rnrnIn my opinion,the reasons are as follows:First of all,many old peoplex27s chlidren are very busy everyday,it is hard to them to spent sometime living with their parents.Whatx27s more,some people work in other cities,even in other countries,it is impossible for them to live together with their parents or come back home frequently.In the third place,old peoplex27s cultural life usually be ignored.Some people think that their parentsx27 material life are rich and varied,they should be happy.So these people donx27t to see their parents very often.rnrnAs for my own idea about the phenomenon of empty nest,I think that no matter how busy you are,you should spent some time together with your parents.If you work in other cities or countries,you should often speak to your parents through telephone.rn......结尾省略rnrn顺便再提点建议~1、 sosiety应为society，
2、olders 表示老年人并不十分地道，应为the elderly
3、live by 应为live on
4、it is hard to them 应为it is hard for them
5、spent应为spend
6、sometime只能做副词或者形容词，不能做名词，改为time
7、even in other countries前面加or
8、they should be happy前必须要有连接词and或者so
9、should be happy这里用happy太俗气了，最好用satisfied; pleased; content
10、So these people don't to see 应为So these people don't have to see
11、As for my own idea ……I think 这里重复了，把后面I think 去掉
12、用you不够恰当，没有指代对象，改为children比较好
13、spent some time 应为spend time
14、speak to应为talk to
这是部分非常明显的错误，其他可以修改润色的地方还有很多，建议先解决基本的问题。
2、olders 表示老年人并不十分地道，应为the elderly
3、live by 应为live on
4、it is hard to them 应为it is hard for them
5、spent应为spend
6、sometime只能做副词或者形容词，不能做名词，改为time
7、even in other countries前面加or
8、they should be happy前必须要有连接词and或者so
9、should be happy这里用happy太俗气了，最好用satisfied; pleased; content
10、So these people don't to see 应为So these people don't have to see
11、As for my own idea ……I think 这里重复了，把后面I think 去掉
12、用you不够恰当，没有指代对象，改为children比较好
13、spent some time 应为spend time
14、speak to应为talk to
这是部分非常明显的错误，其他可以修改润色的地方还有很多，建议先解决基本的问题。
Recently,the phenomenon of empty nest has become the focus of the sosiety.more and more olders live by themselves.
In my opinion,the reasons are as follows:First of all,many old people's chlidren are very busy everyday,it is hard to （for) them to spent sometime( some time 即分开为2词) living with their parents.What's more,some people work in other cities,even in other countries,it is impossible for them to live together with their parents or come back home frequently.In the third place,old people's cultural life usually be ignored.Some people think that their parents' material life are rich and varied,they should be happy.So these people don't to(去掉to) see their parents very often.
As for my own idea about the phenomenon of empty nest,I think that no matter how busy you are,you should spent(spend) some time(正确) together with your parents.If you work in other cities or countries,you should often speak to your parents through telephone.
写的不错！（不是拍马屁哈）
至于建议：其实每个人都有自己的学习方法.找到属于自己的才是最有效率的.
我认为语法，单词等等是前提，口语才是最重要的。
因此我建议经常读读英语短文 经常听听英语短文.
In my opinion,the reasons are as follows:First of all,many old people's chlidren are very busy everyday,it is hard to （for) them to spent sometime( some time 即分开为2词) living with their parents.What's more,some people work in other cities,even in other countries,it is impossible for them to live together with their parents or come back home frequently.In the third place,old people's cultural life usually be ignored.Some people think that their parents' material life are rich and varied,they should be happy.So these people don't to(去掉to) see their parents very often.
As for my own idea about the phenomenon of empty nest,I think that no matter how busy you are,you should spent(spend) some time(正确) together with your parents.If you work in other cities or countries,you should often speak to your parents through telephone.
写的不错！（不是拍马屁哈）
至于建议：其实每个人都有自己的学习方法.找到属于自己的才是最有效率的.
我认为语法，单词等等是前提，口语才是最重要的。
因此我建议经常读读英语短文 经常听听英语短文.
那位英语高手 ，帮我改一下自己写的六级作文
Part I：Writing (30 minutes)rnDirections: For this part, you are allowed 30 minutesrnto write a short essay entitled The Way to Success by commenting on Abraham Lincolnx27s famous remark, "Give me six hoursrnto chop down a tree, and I will spend, the first four sharpening the axe."rnYou should write at least 150 words but no more than 200 words. rnrn The way to successrn There are a famous remark ” Givernme six hours to chop down a tree ,and I will spend ,the first four sharpeningrnthe axe” .It is very of importance forrnus to get preparation ,thoughrnsometimes it will take much time .If the preparation is not enough ，we may spend double time torndo the same work which the other one do.rn Obviously, it’s a key of success. Getting preparation is a smart way . Admittedly,rnOne thing can be finished is based on hard working .But when there is a way canrnmake working more efficient ,we should adopted it. Just working hard is not alwaysrnresult in success. Success person always try differentrnways to finish the work.It’s the key of success.The way to success
There 【are改为is】 a famous remark ” Give
me six hours to chop down a tree ,and I will spend the first four sharpening
the axe” .It is very【去掉】 of 【加上great】importance for
us to get preparation ,though
sometimes it will take much time. If the preparation is not enough，we may spend double time 【to do改为doing】 the same work 【which改为as】the other 【one改为people】 do.
Obviously, it’s a key 【of 改为to】success. Getting preparation is a smart way . Admittedly,
【One thing can be finished改为whether one thing can be finished】 is based on hard working .But when there is a way 【加上which/that】can
make working more efficient ,we should 【adopted改为adopt】 it. Just working hard 【is改为does】 not always result in success. 【Success改为A successful】 person always 【try改为tries】 different
ways to finish the work.It’s the key 【of改为to】 success.
There 【are改为is】 a famous remark ” Give
me six hours to chop down a tree ,and I will spend the first four sharpening
the axe” .It is very【去掉】 of 【加上great】importance for
us to get preparation ,though
sometimes it will take much time. If the preparation is not enough，we may spend double time 【to do改为doing】 the same work 【which改为as】the other 【one改为people】 do.
Obviously, it’s a key 【of 改为to】success. Getting preparation is a smart way . Admittedly,
【One thing can be finished改为whether one thing can be finished】 is based on hard working .But when there is a way 【加上which/that】can
make working more efficient ,we should 【adopted改为adopt】 it. Just working hard 【is改为does】 not always result in success. 【Success改为A successful】 person always 【try改为tries】 different
ways to finish the work.It’s the key 【of改为to】 success.
应该是there is
spend double time in doing
the other one does
one thing finished
there is a way that can make work more efficient
we should adopt it
working hard doesn't always result in
successful person
the key to success
spend double time in doing
the other one does
one thing finished
there is a way that can make work more efficient
we should adopt it
working hard doesn't always result in
successful person
the key to success
请各位老师帮我批改这篇2021六月的六级真题作文，感激不尽，最好能给一些提高的建议啦~谢谢啦！
Directions: rnFor rnthis rnpart, rnyou rnare rnallowed rn30 rnminutes rnto rnwrite rnan rnessay rncommenting rnon rnthe rnremark rn“Arn rnsmile rnis rnthe rnshortest rndistance rnbetween rntwo rnpeople”. rnYou rnmay rncite rnsome rnexamples rnto rnsupport rnyou rnview. rnYou rnshould rnwrite rnat rnleast rn150 rnwords but no more than 200 wordsrn。rn2021年6月真题rn题目：rnrnDirections: rnFor this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write an essay commenting on the remark “A smile is the shortest distance between two people”. You may cite some examples to support you view. You should write at least 150 words but no more than 200 words。rn我的作文：rnKeeping smilingrn Smiling ,showing people happiness ,kind and acceptance is the most significant body language amount all kinds of language .It is the same greeting way between people come from all over the world ,saying different kind of Mother tongue and with different skin color .rn As the saying goes , “A smile is the shortest distance between two people”,smiling can make a comfortable and harmonious atmosphere amount not only strangers but also friends .A smile is the best way to start a conversation .When you eager to seek help from a stranger ,the first step you can do is smiling ,because it can help you get trust from the stranger and show you are kind .And if you meet a foreigner at your travel and you can’t understand the language she or he speaking ,just keep smiling ,because it is the shortest distance and the simplest greeting way between two people ,no matter where they are come from .rn All in all ,smiling as the common way to greeting also the most direct language to express kind ,achieve the shortest distance between two people.Keep smiling
Smiling ,showing people happiness ,kindness and acceptance is the most significant body language amoung all kinds of languages .It is the same greeting way between people from all over the world with different mother languages and complexions.
As the saying goes , “A smile is the shortest distance between two people”. Smiling can make a comfortable and harmonious atmosphere among not only friends but also strangers.A smile is the best way to start a conversation .When you are eager to seek help from a stranger ,the first step you can do is smiling ,because it can help you get trust from the stranger and show you are kind . And if you meet a foreigner on your trip and you can’t understand the language she or he is speaking ,just keep smiling ,because it is the shortest distance and the simplest greeting way between two people ,no matter where they come from .
All in all ,smiling as the common way to greet and the most direct language to express kindness ,achieves the shortest distance between two people.
我把语法错误改了一下。你的词汇量不够，内容也很单薄，基本就是翻来覆去重复题目。要提升这些不是短期的事，所以尽量要把语法错误避免。
Smiling ,showing people happiness ,kindness and acceptance is the most significant body language amoung all kinds of languages .It is the same greeting way between people from all over the world with different mother languages and complexions.
As the saying goes , “A smile is the shortest distance between two people”. Smiling can make a comfortable and harmonious atmosphere among not only friends but also strangers.A smile is the best way to start a conversation .When you are eager to seek help from a stranger ,the first step you can do is smiling ,because it can help you get trust from the stranger and show you are kind . And if you meet a foreigner on your trip and you can’t understand the language she or he is speaking ,just keep smiling ,because it is the shortest distance and the simplest greeting way between two people ,no matter where they come from .
All in all ,smiling as the common way to greet and the most direct language to express kindness ,achieves the shortest distance between two people.
我把语法错误改了一下。你的词汇量不够，内容也很单薄，基本就是翻来覆去重复题目。要提升这些不是短期的事，所以尽量要把语法错误避免。
请老师帮我点评一下我的六级英语作文。
题目是rnCollege students mental healthrn outlines:rn1.心理健康对大学生的重要性。rn2.学校应该...rn3.我们大学生要..rn2021年4月28日rn21:37rnrn Mental health is of vital importance to College students on both character developing and social communication. As is well known, unhealth mental condition contribute to mental problems and easily developing into depressed in mind, which directly leads to difficults in commuicating with other people.rn Colleges should not only attach weight to studentsx27 grades but also pay close attention to their mental condition. They should be put in equal position. Colleges administration also should concern thoses students which have serious mental problems. The most effective method is that organise some out of door activities once in a while. As to thoese had mental problems students,colleges teacher could try to help them by commucating with them.rn As a contemporaty college students, I hold the view that Is it necessary for us to form good lifesyles.Well,apprently,the habit of looking on the bright side is very conducitve to mental health. rnrnBesides,we need to take an active part in social activities regularly.difficults 改成difficulties
The most effective method is that organise some out of door activities once in a while
that 后连接啥从句？ 改 去掉that 变to organise 或者 is what that organises
最后一段 it is necessary
其他没多大问题了 不过建议楼主别老是重复 mental health 一词 可以改成 inside world mental world或者 soul side 一类的 文章就能提一个档次了 或者别老是用mental world 作主语或者宾语 可以 改成 to function our inside world well, to regulate our mental side 一类的 丰富句型与用法 又避免了 词汇的重复
The most effective method is that organise some out of door activities once in a while
that 后连接啥从句？ 改 去掉that 变to organise 或者 is what that organises
最后一段 it is necessary
其他没多大问题了 不过建议楼主别老是重复 mental health 一词 可以改成 inside world mental world或者 soul side 一类的 文章就能提一个档次了 或者别老是用mental world 作主语或者宾语 可以 改成 to function our inside world well, to regulate our mental side 一类的 丰富句型与用法 又避免了 词汇的重复
1 contribute to改为contributes to
2 easily developing into depressed in mind改为may easily induces/triggers depression in mind
3 difficults改为barriers 或者impediments,高级一点
4 organise改为organising 或者to organise
5 As to thoese had mental problems改为as to those who have mental problems（通篇文章都是一般现在时），或者As to thoese having mental problems
6 conducitve改为conductive
7 take an active part in建议改为participate actively in或者take our initiative to,这是因为take an active part in已沿用数千年，老师审美疲劳了……
2 easily developing into depressed in mind改为may easily induces/triggers depression in mind
3 difficults改为barriers 或者impediments,高级一点
4 organise改为organising 或者to organise
5 As to thoese had mental problems改为as to those who have mental problems（通篇文章都是一般现在时），或者As to thoese having mental problems
6 conducitve改为conductive
7 take an active part in建议改为participate actively in或者take our initiative to,这是因为take an active part in已沿用数千年，老师审美疲劳了……
Mental health is of vital importance to college students when it comes to character developing and social communication. As is well known, unhealthy mental conditions contribute to mental problems and can easily cause a low spirit in the mind, which directly leads to difficulty in commuicating with other people.
Colleges should not only attach weight to students' grades but also pay close attention to their mentality because they are equally important.. The college administration should also show great concern for the students with possible mental problems. The most effective method is organising some out- door activities from time to time. As for thoesstudents already with mental problems,colleges teachers should try to help them by commucating with them.
As a contemporaty college student, I hold the view that Is it necessary for us to have a good way of life. Well,apprently, looking to the bright side of life is very conducive to mental health.
Besides,we need to take an active part in social activities regularly.
Colleges should not only attach weight to students' grades but also pay close attention to their mentality because they are equally important.. The college administration should also show great concern for the students with possible mental problems. The most effective method is organising some out- door activities from time to time. As for thoesstudents already with mental problems,colleges teachers should try to help them by commucating with them.
As a contemporaty college student, I hold the view that Is it necessary for us to have a good way of life. Well,apprently, looking to the bright side of life is very conducive to mental health.
Besides,we need to take an active part in social activities regularly.
请帮我改一下六级作文，谢谢！！！
题目1. 现在许多大学生花钱大手大脚rn 2. 有人认为社会整体生活水平提高了，大学生花钱多一些无可厚非rn 3. 你的看法rnrnToday, many college students lead an extravagant life. Compared with the austere life in the past, indeed students with a fair family in today’s modern society can live more relax and wealthier. This phenomenon actually reflects the society’s progress, but it also evinces a kind of depravity in our life.rnrnSome people may say that we now live in a richer society than before, so that it is not be condemned that college students cost much money than before in their daily lives. There are also many college students hold the opinion that what kind of life they choose is none of other’s business and they do not regret to live a luxuriously life.rnrnNevertheless, in my personal opinion, all of these run against the virtuosity of retrenchment. College students should not be too extravagant without any income by themselves. Though with the development of the economy and live, everyone can live a wealthier life than before, being too sumptuously is still ought to be reproached. Especially many college students cannot earn a living by themselves, so that it is unreasonable for them to waste money with the supposition from home. rnrn谢谢～我很久很久很久没有写过作文了，可能连思路都不清晰，模模糊糊知道6级作文一般是3段。。。是么。。rn希望能指出我的主要问题，比如是不是观点不明确？写作方法不对之类的？其实我总觉得只用150字说不清楚问题啊，个人觉得每段都写的很模棱两可的没有具体展开。。。。。。rn一片迷茫最近才开始准备6级，还有半个月就要考了。。- -rn如果能指出具体错误更加感激不尽，谢谢！so that it is unreasonable for them to waste money with the supposition from home的语法结构错了,many college students lead an extravagant life这句话的开头不能用MANY,要用LOTS OF,其他的都没错!!!!
语言单词过于重复，可以换成另外的一些简洁明了的单词。
写法应该字中带字才好， 把意识放在不同的字里。
本文标题: 有大佬可以帮我指导一下我的六级作文吗 感激不尽
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