求教这篇英语作文还能怎么修改得更好On，the，teamworkrnThese，are，many，people，in，the，b...
求教这篇英语作文还能怎么修改得更好
On the teamworkrnThese are many people in the beautiful world, and sometime people hard to live alone. So many people make a team for their live or their work each other. Why the team was both? Because a lot of people think that the more people, the more power.rn1The team not only need the same or similar aim,but also need a true temawork. What is the teamwork? The teamwork is that everybody will do anything for their teams and they will help each other unconditionally. So the teamwork is more important than another thing of team. How we get the teamwork? First of all,we should keep affable to other people of a team,and then we canx27t avaricious of anything,because we are equal in a team.rnIf we were in a team,we should be aware of the teamwork is very important because the teamwork will make us get what we want.rn我大一狗，高三还能写出二十多分的作文呢，四个月没写了现在什么都忘了，就求英语大神重新帮我看看，羞愧不已中。。。。。There are so many people in the beautiful world, but sometimes people feels it is hard to live alone. therefore many people make a team for their live or they work with each other. Why the team was both? Because a lot of people think that the more people, the more power.
The team not only needs the same or similar aims,but also a true temawork. What is the teamwork? The teamwork is that everybody will do anything for their teams and they will help each other unconditionally. So the teamwork is more important than another thing of team. How can we get into the teamwork? First of all,we should keep affable to other people of a team,and then we can't avaricious of anything,because we are equal in a team.
If we were in a team,we should be aware of the teamwork it is very important because the teamwork will make us get what we want.
The team not only needs the same or similar aims,but also a true temawork. What is the teamwork? The teamwork is that everybody will do anything for their teams and they will help each other unconditionally. So the teamwork is more important than another thing of team. How can we get into the teamwork? First of all,we should keep affable to other people of a team,and then we can't avaricious of anything,because we are equal in a team.
If we were in a team,we should be aware of the teamwork it is very important because the teamwork will make us get what we want.
这篇英语作文要怎么改，哪里错了？
急！急！急！
我就直白一点了：几乎每句话都有语法错误，很多单词拼错，可以看出来想用一些比较高级的关联词比如not only, but also，但是因为文章整体水平太低这个词看起来很突兀。
我直接给你按原本意思重写一遍吧，一句一句改已经没救了
I am a college student, every college student has their dream (每个college学生都有他们自己的梦想).
My dream job is working as a bank staff. It is a good job because a bank staff can earn a descent salary and having a good job can lead to a happly life.
I think a happy life is very important (个人觉的这句话有点废话的意思). In order to make my dream come true (给你提高了点B格)， not only do I need to study hard and make progress everday, but also know myself and do myself justice (不太清楚你这句想表达什么，就照原文写了).
最后一句实在不懂你在写什么，无能为力
最后的最后送你一句话，好好学习，梦想成真
我直接给你按原本意思重写一遍吧，一句一句改已经没救了
I am a college student, every college student has their dream (每个college学生都有他们自己的梦想).
My dream job is working as a bank staff. It is a good job because a bank staff can earn a descent salary and having a good job can lead to a happly life.
I think a happy life is very important (个人觉的这句话有点废话的意思). In order to make my dream come true (给你提高了点B格)， not only do I need to study hard and make progress everday, but also know myself and do myself justice (不太清楚你这句想表达什么，就照原文写了).
最后一句实在不懂你在写什么，无能为力
最后的最后送你一句话，好好学习，梦想成真
这篇英语作文应该怎么改？
In the past ten years,great changes have taken place in my hometown.In the past, my hometown have no big and tall buildings,the house is small and dark.We lived in it was crowed.The road was narrow.And a few children can go to school,they go to school on foot or by bike.But now,my hometown build many tall buildings.People’s house is bigger and brighter than before.The road become wide.And a lot of children can go to school,they go to school by car or by bus.How great changes have taken place in my hometown!rn老师帮我圈出来的有：have no,house is small ,in it was crowed,hometown build many tall buildings,road become wide,How great changes haveIn the past ten years, great changes have taken place in my hometown.In the past, my hometown had no big and tall buildings,the house was small and dark. Lived in it was crowed.The road was narrow.And a few children can go to school,they go to school on foot or by bike. But now, my hometown has built many tall buildings.People’s house is bigger and brighter than before.The road becomes wide. And a lot of children can go to school,they go to school by car or by bus.What great changes have taken place in my hometown!
i dont know
请英语高手帮忙修改一下这篇英语作文～
如题。看看有没有什么语法错误或语句不通顺什么的。高中水平。晚上八点之前，好的话加分，拜托了(>_<)n If I were the leader of the world,I would stop war forever. our life would be hormone and happiness. nobody has lived at life of fear. no more weapons of violence and innocent victims.n If I were the leader of the world ,I would make everyone equal ,regardless of noble and humble,no thief,no robber ,no pickpockets,no stealing ,no robbery,no crime any more. nIf I would the leader of the world,the would will be full of greenery,I want to everybody plant ten trees ,so that the world would have billions of thousands of trees. so the whole universe with fresh air.刚才有事去了，弄了一半没发出来，重新再来。
楼上Lechen Yuan的开头跟我基本一致，但是不同之处我就改动一下吧(改动之处用大写显示，容易看得见
If I were the leader of the world, I would stop wars forever. Our life would be full of harmony and happiness. Nobody had to live in a life of fear. There would be no more VOILENT WEAPONS OR innocent victims.
（首先，虚拟语气应该用were，不能改成was. 杀伤性武器，用voilent weapons一来更符合英语习惯用法，二来跟innocent victims对偶，句式上更美观简洁。另外在否定句里，不能用and，要用or）
If I were the leader of the world, I would build up the equalities AMONG different classes and genders, no matter how rich or how famous you are. There would never be any THEFT， robbery, or crime. ( among 代替between是因为对象是多个，不止2个。另外简化了繁琐的语句。还有偷窃的名词是theft）
If I were the leader of the world, the world would be covered by forests. I would require everyone on earth to plant ten trees, so that the world would BE OF billions of trees and the whole universe would be of fresh air.
(世界上有什么，不能用the world have这种中国式英语，应该是there are ... in the world, 或 the world is of.... BE OF用在非人的事物后面，表示具有，具备。。。的意思）
楼上Lechen Yuan的开头跟我基本一致，但是不同之处我就改动一下吧(改动之处用大写显示，容易看得见
If I were the leader of the world, I would stop wars forever. Our life would be full of harmony and happiness. Nobody had to live in a life of fear. There would be no more VOILENT WEAPONS OR innocent victims.
（首先，虚拟语气应该用were，不能改成was. 杀伤性武器，用voilent weapons一来更符合英语习惯用法，二来跟innocent victims对偶，句式上更美观简洁。另外在否定句里，不能用and，要用or）
If I were the leader of the world, I would build up the equalities AMONG different classes and genders, no matter how rich or how famous you are. There would never be any THEFT， robbery, or crime. ( among 代替between是因为对象是多个，不止2个。另外简化了繁琐的语句。还有偷窃的名词是theft）
If I were the leader of the world, the world would be covered by forests. I would require everyone on earth to plant ten trees, so that the world would BE OF billions of trees and the whole universe would be of fresh air.
(世界上有什么，不能用the world have这种中国式英语，应该是there are ... in the world, 或 the world is of.... BE OF用在非人的事物后面，表示具有，具备。。。的意思）
If I was the leader of the world, I would stop wars forever. Our life would be full of harmony and happiness. Nobody had to live in a life of fear. There would be no more weapons of violence and innocent victims.
If I was the leader of the world, I would build up the equalities between different classes and different genders, no matter how rich you were, no matter how famous you were. There would never have thieves, stealing, robbery, or crime.
If I was the leader of the world, the world would be covered by forests. I would ask everyone on earth to plant at least ten trees, so that the world would have billions of trees. The whole universe would be refreshed with clean air instead of pollutions.
我尽量没改变你的意思
If I was the leader of the world, I would build up the equalities between different classes and different genders, no matter how rich you were, no matter how famous you were. There would never have thieves, stealing, robbery, or crime.
If I was the leader of the world, the world would be covered by forests. I would ask everyone on earth to plant at least ten trees, so that the world would have billions of trees. The whole universe would be refreshed with clean air instead of pollutions.
我尽量没改变你的意思
我知道最好的是咳嗽健桥网
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