以下是我根据你的原文进行改动过的，供你参考。
Dear LiHua:
It's time to say goodbye.In my mind,you are an out-going,strong-minded,and hard-working fellow student.I admire you very much.
I still clearly remember that once we both did rather badly in our physics test.At that time,I was at a loss,feeling frustrated.But there was still a confident smile on your face."Never lose heart, Wang.We are bound to make it next time!"It was your determining words what lighted my heart.After that,we both went all out for it.Eventually,we made great progress.
Looking back,the days we spent together form the most precious memories which I'll treasure forever.I sincerely wish you to have an ideal life, and be a successful person in the future.
Yours,
WangPing

以下是我根据你的原文进行改动过的，供你参考。
Dear LiHua:
It's time to say goodbye.In my mind,you are an out-going,strong-minded,and hard-working fellow student.I admire you very much.
I still clearly remember that once we both did rather badly in our physics test.At that time,I was at a loss,feeling frustrated.But there was still a confident smile on your face."Never lose heart, Wang.We are bound to make it next time!"It was your determining words what lighted my heart.After that,we both went all out for it.Eventually,we made great progress.
Looking back,the days we spent together form the most precious memories which I'll treasure forever.I sincerely wish you to have an ideal life, and be a successful person in the future.
Yours,
WangPing

Dear LiHua:
It's time to say goodbye.In my mind,you are an out-going,strong-minded,and hard-working fellow student.I admire you very much.
I still clearly remember that once we both did rather badly in our physics test.At that time,I was at a loss,feeling frustrated.But there was still a confident smile on your face."Never lose heart, Wang.We are bound to make it next time!"It was your determining words what lighted my heart.After that,we both went all out for it.Eventually,we made great progress.
Looking back,the days we spent together form the most precious memories which I'll treasure forever.I sincerely wish you to have an ideal life, and be a successful person in the future.
Yours,
WangPing

………………感觉很好，但是有没有更好的事例？感觉这个事例有点老了……
纯个人看法

at a loss是“迷茫、不知所措”

现在是时候说再见。在我看来，你是一个外向，有主见，和辛勤工作的同学，我非常佩服你。
我仍然清楚地记得，一次，我们都做不好，而在我们的物理试验。在那个时候，我是亏损，感情受挫。但是，仍然存在着自信的笑容对你的脸。 “不要灰心，王。我们的约束，使其下一次！ “这是你确定的话点燃我的心。在那之后，我们都全力的。最后，我们取得了很大进展的努力。
回首的几天里，我们共同度过的最珍贵的回忆，我会永远珍惜。我衷心祝愿您有一个理想的生活，并成为一个成功的未来。
此致，
王平
这是你作文的中文，你自己看看吧！

李华：
时间说再见。 我以为，您是一名外出，意志坚强和勤勉学生，并且我非常敬佩您。 一旦我们俩在我们的物理测试，宁可非常做了明显地仍然记住那。 那时，我困惑不解，感觉挫败。 但是仍有在您的面孔的确信的微笑。 丢失心脏， Wang。 我们一定做它下次! ”它是点燃我的心脏的您确定的词。 在那以后，我们俩为它全力以赴。 最终，我们获得了在那努力的伟大的进展。
Looking支持，我们度过一起永远是最珍贵的记忆那件珍宝的天。 我恳切地祝愿您有理想的生活，并且在将来是成功。
Yours，
WangPing
我懂一点英语我就把他翻下来了一点点

对于作文来说，语法并不是最重要的。首先你应该多阅读，不仅可丰富你的单词量，也可以提高你的语感。对于一些自认为比较好的句子，可以记下来，背下来。其次，对于平时自己的错误句子一定要弄懂错在那个地方。推荐你准备个错误本，时时翻出来看看。再就是写作文之前要注意想清楚你到底要写什么，可以列提纲。同时要注意分析那些优秀作文，看别人是怎么写的，尽量把自己思维拉近。

其实英语作文讲究的主要是逻辑问题啦，套路就是提出一个问题，说说自己的看法，然后再谈谈解决方法，这些问题都会是比较热门的，所以你没必要将问题想的太复杂，在表达方式上尽量用简单的句子，可以记一些连词来贯通全文，开头和结尾没必要去背一些固定的句子，平常点会给老师留下好印象。at
last
，best
wishes！

你可以通过大量的阅读来提高你的英语水平，在写完英语作文后，仔细检查是否存在语法错误，及中式英文。
诺，能告诉你的就这些，希望能对你有帮助

Nowadays,many parents have prepared everything for their children from their birth (加on). So these children's self-care abilties are gradually held in contempt （hold in contemp是轻视，这里用弱化比较好，undermined）by many（改成their） parents.More and more children know nothing（用little好吧？同样也是否定，但没有nothing这么彻底） about the housework such as mopping,cleaning and so forth, and what's more,some children can't （加even，表示“甚至”）peel eggs.The prevalence of the problem has become a hot button accross society. Its existence has even greatly impacted the future of our country which the government could not afford to ignore and prepare to take some positive measures to come up with the problem,according to the online edition of the people daily.（本句想表达什么有些乱，the People Daily人民日报）
There are a couple of driving forces,I would argue,behind this undesirable tide. On one hand,in these parent's eyes,only study score plays a significant role during all life of kids so that they ignore education in other aspects such as moral education（改成：they only note the importance of study rather than personal development of their chirldren in other aspects
）.On the other hand,with the implementation of family-planning policy,children are only children（什么叫children are children?） nowadays,the care and doting（？什么意思） that they received exceed their fathers and grandfathers, so their dependence is relatively large（large不对，整句改好再看换哪个词）.
As confucius instructed,it is better late than never. Prompt and strict measures should be taken （加to）turn back this evil trend.To help their children to be independent（罗嗦，To make the children independent）,parents should resist the urge to jump in and （建议用as well as）give their children more responsibilitys（名词复数错了） and decision-making powers so that they may develop an internal locus（？什么词） of contol.In addition ,parents can teach their children to ask for what they need and support them in being accountable for their decisions (改成：give supports when they are in trouble）.Finally,parents can set clear boundaries and provide their children with advice and guidance.It is beneficial for the child to make decisions and learn from their mistakes.I believe that so long as it is properly and carefully operated,we are bound to modify this evil（没这么严重吧，换个温和些的词吧） trend in the days ahead.

最后，我的感觉是，你太强调使用范文的一些例句，不是不可以，但要用得适当、恰当，而不给人生搬硬套的感觉。最基础的东西要加强，这才是最重要的，结构清晰、用词正确

第一行， from their birth改成since they were born.
句子完成了，就用句号，别老用逗号，不对。cleaning and so forth.What's more,some ...
报刊名字要大写。 the people daily.
these parent's eyes ... parent's 改成parents'
孔子，首字母大写
better late than never。。。这个真的和孔子有关么。。
in the days ahead.。。。改成in the coming days. ahead 是副词。
简单的看了一下，没什么大问题，注意细节就好了

Nowadays, many parents have prepared everything for their children. The irony is that many children nowadays lack basic life skills which is a source of headache for parents. Children are not involved in household chores. They are not capable of doing a simple task like peeling an egg. According to the online edition of the People Daily, the prevalence of the problem greatly affects the future of our country and the government plans to take some positive measure in dealing with this problem.
In my opinion, one of the reasons behind this undesirable trend is that parents pay too much importance in the child's education leaving out the moral aspect of education like character and values. China's one-child policy makes Chinese children the center of attention of the family. Typically there are at least four persons (parents and two sets of grandparents) doting on that child. As a result, children rely heavily on them and they never had the chance of fending for themselves.
Prompt and strict measures should be taken to counter this trend.To help their children to be independent, parents should resist the urge to jump in and do things for their children. Parents should give their children more responsibilities. Children should be taught to decide for themselves, but making them accountable for their actions. Furthermore, parents should teach their children to ask for what they need and support them. Finally, parents should set clear boundaries and provide their children with advice and guidance.It is beneficial for the child to make decisions for themselves and learn from their mistakes.I believe that in dong so, we are looking at a brighter future in the days ahead.