Recently, our campuses have witnessed a huge development in teaching methods owing to using computers, At the same timeit has alse brought some problems.
In my opinion, defective as computers are, our teachers should use them in our classes. It is the best way to give more knowledge to us for teachers by using PowerPoint or other software. Take my own experiences for example, teachers who use computers can teach three times as fast as those who never use computers. Were there no computers, never would we taste the technology.
However, we should use computers in a proper way in which more basic study skills should be contained. Only in this way can we see the scene in which students can learn faster and better.
很好,只改了几处错误.

如今社会上许多青少年酗酒成瘾。可是他们为什么要酗酒呢？他们中许多人主在庆祝朋友生日的聚会时或干脆只是为了娱乐时喝啤酒。另外，有人还会以这种方式来释放自己的坏心情。

然而，滥用酒精与过多吸烟同样有害。过多的酒精可以引起肚脏和胆囊血压升高，而且最终还可能患上肝炎或致使的肝癌。再者，过度饮酒还会毁掉记忆力和理解力。不过这还不算什么。最可怕的是，你可能在酗酒后在高速公路上驾车的时候（在交通事故中）丧生。为了警告人们醉酒的危害，在烟盒上已经印有下面的警告字样“酗酒有害健康。”
尽管这些事实，为什么还有这么多的酗酒者呢？显然，我们做的还不够。青少年们年少时应适量饮酒，因此他们在长大后才可以抑制酒精的诱惑。另一方面，我们应该提高酒的价格，限制酒精的消费。幸运的是，可能最佳的防止滥用酒精的解决办法就是在第二天检查一下。

surface the boat不能译成让船浮出水面，这是个比喻，应该是指进行检查

手工翻译，楼主这点儿分也太少了点儿吧，有分就给点儿，内容的确不错，所以才帮你翻译出来

英语翻译：
Many teenagers are addicted to alcohol in the society of today. But drink for what? Many of them drink beers at parties held to celebrate their intimate friends’ birthday or just for entertainment. Also, someone may release his or her bad emotions this way.
However, alcohol abuses are as harmful as over-smoking. Too much alcohol can raise the pressure of liver and gall bladder, and you may get hepatitis or even the deadly liver cancer consequently. Moreover, drinking too much can destroy your memory and understanding. But that’s nothing. The most terribly, you might lose your life after drinking too much while driving on the freeway. In order to warn people the harm of alcohol, the quote ‘Drinking is bid for health’ has already been printed on the package of alcohol.
Despite the fact, why do there exist so many alcohol addicts? Obviously, we haven’t yet tried our best. Teenagers should have been supposed to drink in moderation when young, so they would resist the temptation of alcohol when older. And on the other hand, we should enhance the price of alcohol to limit the amount of alcohol-consumers. Fortunately, maybe the best solution to prevent alcohol abuse will surface the boat in the coming day.
翻译成中文：许多青少年对酒精上瘾一样在社会的今天。但喝了什么吗?他们中的许多人在聚会上喝啤酒举行了庆祝他们的亲密的朋友的生日或只是为了消遣一下。同时,有人会释放他或她的情绪。
然而,酒精滥用over-smoking一样有害,。太多的压力酒精会提高肝脏和胆,可能会肝炎或甚至致命的肝癌坚持不懈。此外,饮酒过量会破坏你的记忆力和

第一，错白字，第一段第二行最后衡阳俩字没写好，标题涂改，你还不如另起一行。第二，语法错误，前面说了各地小吃，后面应该写我们衡阳的则是什么什么之类的，不能说而我们衡阳的著名小吃什么什么的。第三，文字不齐，好不好看先放一边，起码要看上去齐些，你这样写老师会不会通读都很难说。第四，没有轻重逻辑，你到底写唆螺的哪一方面呢，看上去是都提了点，但实际上都没写好。第五，内容泛泛，没有升华，不是说一定要提到爱国爱民的高度，但是起码要有些感触吧，你这貌似纪实材料的流水账确实不讨人喜欢。第六，这后面这点是我个人建议，写东西如果能把握三短句两长句为最上口语感，如果加上整段排比句更具气势，参见《过秦论》。

第一条：字迹有待提高
第二条：应该加上一些个人对此食物的感受。文章内容过于简单。应该保持详略得当，做法理应略写。
第三条：最后以自然段与上文承接不好，过于贫乏，单调无味，应采用首尾照应。
第四条：文章可适当加一些修辞。使内容丰富。
就这么多，话说你多大了，五六年级？我初三哈。我们老师经常让我们改别人的作文